Growing an International Family Through Exchange

At a reunion with my host family October 2012

Sometimes I'm not sure how to answer simple questions like "How many children do you have?" or "How many brothers and sisters do you have?"

Because in addition to my four biological children, and my two biological brothers and four step siblings, I have this large, extended, but closely-knit international family that won't fit on your average family tree and that many people have a hard time comprehending. This is my YFU family: Youth For Understanding.

With YFU, I have two exchange brothers in different countries (one where I lived as an exchange student in Germany, and one from Sweden who lived with my family in New York when I was a teen.) And then there are all my "daughters."  These are the girls we hosted while we lived in Maryland. There are six whom we remain very close to, and a couple others we loved for a time, but for various reasons have not stayed in touch with.

Seeds
Twenty-five years ago I won a scholarship to spend a year going to high school and living with a host family in Germany. I could not, at that time, begin to comprehend how it would impact everything about the rest of my life. This is when the seeds were planted and my international family began to take root; where the rest of my life and family sprouted.

During my exchange year I lived on a small farm, in a very small village on the Baltic Sea in Schleswig-Holstein. When I arrived, I did not speak a single word of German. The language wasn't offered at my high school; I had only learned French. (I had wanted to go to France, but there were no scholarships there and my parents could not afford to send me on an exchange year. Desperate to travel, see the world, and meet new people, I grabbed the only chance I could get and applied for the Congress-Bundestag scholarship to Germany; close enough, right?).

My host brother spoke a fair bit of English, but honestly, we didn't get along too well at first. I was not what he had in mind when he asked his parents to host (the exchange organization didn't have any boys needing placement; so they got a girl - to my host mother's delight and my brother's chagrin). My host father spoke a bit of English, but worked 15 hour days on the farm. I spent most of my time outside of school helping my host mom in the house or garden. She did not speak a word of English. We both got very good at charades!

I am very grateful to my wonderful volunteer host family for taking me in. Despite not having much to spare economically, they were generous with everything they had, especially their patience and love. They taught me so much about their culture and language and helped me learn a lot about myself. We remain close today, and my host brother and I have built a strong bond.

Tree Branches
The amazing experience I had with Youth For Understanding inspired me to stay involved with the organization and share the love and learning with other young people. Initially, upon my return to the States, I got involved as an area representative. I worked to find host families for international students coming to the US, then mentored the students and families through their year together, lead cultural orientation sessions, and organized various outings and events in the community. I've now mentored about 50 students, some of whom I grew very close to and continue to stay in touch and visit with.

Daughter Stefanie (Denmark 2001-02)

After I was married, had a house and children of my own, we started hosting. This is when our family really began to bloom. My children grew up with older exchange siblings from around the world.

One great benefit of always having an exchange student in the house is that we placed a high value on doing things together as a family - going on day trips and establishing traditions to share with all of our children. When faced with the choice between doing yard work on a beautiful Saturday or taking the exchange student and our kids river rafting and for ice cream in historic Harper's Ferry, WV - well, maybe our garden was in bad shape, but our kids had amazing memories and learned a lot about the history of the area where we lived near Washington DC and Baltimore.

Every holiday was celebrated with enthusiasm as a chance to show off American customs to each new exchange student. Each year, we'd drag our students off to a tree farm to cut down the Christmas tree. We would take haunted hay rides at Halloween and carve pumpkins, color and hide Easter eggs in the Spring. The list goes on. Our exchange students brought endless adventures to our lives and helped us live fully and learn about ourselves, as well as about their cultures. Christmas cookie baking marathons included new recipes each year, brought to us by our exchange daughters from around the world. And my kids learned to say "please" and "thank you" in the languages of the kids we hosted each year.

Flowers 
As my children reached their teens, it's no surprise they wanted to have their own exchange experiences. My oldest daughter won a summer exchange scholarship to Finland when she was only 14. (One year after she spent the summer in Sweden with my host brother's family!). Marissa had a fantastic host family as well, and we were very glad that her host sister could then visit us the following June. And last summer my son was invited to visit them (they also had a boy his age). We hope we will get the entire family here to visit us in Germany soon!

Butterfly Garden

Daughter Katja (Switzerland 2002-03)

There's been a bit of cross-pollination from all these exchange experiences, in vastly different ways. I could tell a million stories. Several of our exchange daughters have met each other (during visits after their initial year) and become "international sisters." We've developed close ties with some of the natural families of the girls we've hosted. One year, on a trip to my husband's family in Hamburg, Alice (arrival student in 2000 from Munich) came up to visit us and brought her sisters. Another year, our Italian daughter (Tamara, 2005-06) also met us in Hamburg, with her parents and brother. And we've become so close with the family of our daughter, Janna (Germany 2004-05) that they took us all in when we first moved to Germany over a year ago. For two months they helped us find a place to live, look for schools for our kids, get the new house painted, buy appliances, figure out insurance, etc. There are no words for the generosity they bestowed on us - they were a life line!

My Global Family
So how many children do I have? ....
I guess I have a heart full :)

Here are a few pics of my global family.... I love them all!!!!

With daughter Janna (Germany 2004-05) in Canada in 2006

With daughter Tamara (Italy 2005-06) during a visit in 2008

With daughter Viki before Prom (Germany 2006-07)

With daughter Inessa (Germany 2007-08)

With daughter Grethe-Marie (Norway 2008-09)

Tamara and her boyfriend visit while we hosted daughter Edith (Finland 2009)

Janna and her boyfriend visiting in Summer 2010

International Sisters with Tamara and Alice (Germany 2000) in Munich 2012

Wanted: A Great Job!

I've been in Germany for a year now and am feeling settled in. The kids are adjusting well. We've gotten their schools sorted out. I've found them pediatricians, orthodontists, eye doctors, sports clubs, and tutors as needed. They've made nice friends; and the initial transition drama has faded away. The household is set up, major appliances purchased, closets and shelves built, lamps hung, etc.

Life has returned to a normal routine for the family in most regards. But there's one big exception: I've not returned to my own career. Now that everyone else is taken care of, it's time to focus a bit of effort on my own needs.

I've completed all the residency paperwork and obtained my German driver's license. I've built a network of wonderful, supportive local and expat friends, joined a book club, began some volunteer work with an exchange organization, and even held a mini-job for most of the last year, providing English tutoring and assisting faculty at the children's school a couple hours each month. But I need more.

I need a great job.

What's a Great Job?

I am a subscriber to the philosophy "without dreams there is no need to work and without work there is no need to dream." I also believe I can pursue both work and dreams by doing what I love, and loving what I do. And that's what having a great job is all about. It's not about the money; that's just a nice by-product of a great job.

A Great Job is one where I engage with a team of bright, fun people, collaborating on interesting challenges with ample opportunity to take my own initiative. It's one where I can contribute to providing an outstanding product or service; where my unique skills make a difference in the success of the organization. It's also one where I can continually develop my skills by learning from great minds around me; where I respect and am inspired by the people I call colleagues, clients, and vendors.

What Would I Do at a Great Job?

I cringe a bit each time someone asks me "What do you do?"
The short answer is: I'm a Communication Professional. That's what my formal education prepared me to become and the essence of what made me successful in the positions I've held.

But I've applied my communication skills in very diverse settings, often filling an undefined void in dynamic organizations. I connect the dots, build relationships, refine processes...make things work, or work better...

A little bit about my background and past Great Jobs...
During four years of graduate school, I studied, conducted research, and taught classes in three communication fields: health, cross-cultural, and organizational. I worked extensively in local hospitals with resident physicians to improve psycho-social communication skills with patients from diverse cultures.

Then for nearly ten years I worked for an innovative Public Policy firm in Michigan. My titles included "Project Manager" and "Research Methodologist" but the responsibilities were rather broad and changed as the business grew. Our clients represented an incredibly wide range of fields including: education (charter schools and education voucher systems), work force development, small business economic impact measures, natural resource uses and tourism, health care policy, etc. The myriad of subjects in which I developed content expertise along with the opportunity to take on tremendous responsibility made it a really Great Job!

After moving to Maryland, I continued to consult for my previous employer and clients, but dedicated spare time to numerous non-profit organizations where I helped create major outreach and fund-raising events. The worthy causes I was able to promote (from an historic theater to international youth to a mental health association) and the fabulous volunteers and sponsors I dealt with made my freelance consulting a Great Job!

Eventually, I was asked to do some software testing at an interactive media firm that specialized in online education. The clients there were mostly large medical societies or science foundations. Being a small and dynamic firm, that role also grew quickly to include not only quality assurance but content management, project management, product support, client training, and technical documentation. I was constantly learning new technical skills and transferring that know-how to new situations. The fast-paced, cutting-edge technology environment paired with brilliant colleagues made that a particularly Great Job!

The common thread to success in these Great Jobs: a positive attitude with excellent communication and organizational skills and an ability to connect people and technology.

What Are the Tangible Benefits of a Great Job?

Another question I cringe at: "What are your salary expectations?"
A truly Great Job offers priceless intangible rewards: personal growth, professional development, job satisfaction, new friends, interesting travel, the ability to look forward to each new day at work with smart, fun colleagues.

Financial compensation is only one tangible benefit among several very important considerations. How flexible are the hours? How far is the commute? How much vacation time is available? Are there annual or performance bonuses? What kind of travel is involved? Are there company perks, such as a car, airline miles, conference attendance, or discounted products/services available?

The most important benefit I've had across all my Great Jobs: Fantastic "bosses" who offered a finely-tuned balance of flexibility, financial fairness, and fun on the job.

Where Do I Find A Great Job?

I've been blessed to have most of these Great Jobs find me. The owners of the two firms where I've worked the longest were associates or friends who asked me if I could help them out on a project. Those part-time, temporary positions quickly evolved into very rewarding Great Jobs that I was sad to leave - but life moved me to new places. Most of my freelance work came to me through referrals. So now I'm building my network, meeting interesting and smart people, and trusting that with the right connections, another Great Job will come my way.

If you happen to know someone in the Essen or Düsseldorf area with a Great Job opportunity ripe for a vibrant bilingual communication professional, please, send them my way!

My professional data can be found on LinkedIn.

I Will Walk 1000 Kilometers: Fitness Goal 2012

Confession time. I have gained six kilos in the last year. That's about 13 US pounds. UGH.

The stress of the move contributed largely to emotionally-fueled eating, a bit of over indulgence in medicinal wine, and very poor sleep patterns, which, all combined, have taken a heavy toll on my hips and my overall health.

One of the major side effects of the weight (and stress) has been the advancement of early arthritis, especially in my spine and feet. My extra lumbar vertebra (I have six instead of the usual 5) is inflamed and causing a great deal of pain. I've seen a half dozen doctors and been prescribed massive amounts of anti-inflammatory meds and been advised to go to physical therapy for strengthening my lower back. But obviously, the best solution would be to lose weight.

I know all about good nutrition. I could teach a class on it. Healthy foods have always been staples in my diet... I love fresh vegetables and fruit (baby spinach, avocado, tomato, apples, bananas). I eat lean protein of mostly poultry, fish, and nuts, with rare indulgences in red meat. I try to curb the carbs and eat almost no white bread or pasta, but I confess German Brötchen are too tempting (even though I stick with whole grain varieties). I very rarely consume processed/canned foods and watch my sodium levels.

My biggest weaknesses are WINE, CHEESE, and CHOCOLATE. Given my otherwise healthy diet, I find it grossly unfair that I can't freely enjoy these treats, when I have skinny friends who never think twice about what they eat. So. Unfair.

Nonetheless, a couple months ago I committed to limiting even these and would say I generally have the "diet" part of healthy living under control. So the deficient part of the equation is exercise. It's hard to get motivated to exercise when you're in pain and seriously lacking sleep. But this is what I must do. My body is conditioned for and requires it. I grew up as a dancer, training for many hours a day through my youth. Just a few years ago I was running regularly. I used to be extremely fit, strong, and flexible. Sadly, that is no longer the case.

So in February I downloaded a new iPhone app (runtastic) to help me track my walking pace and distance. Then, in mid-March, I decided I needed to do more than just track my exercise, I needed specific goals. I ran some numbers, employed a little math and logic, and determined that it was entirely realistic to walk 1000 kilometers in a year. This is only 20 km per week, for 50 weeks - it even allows the standard American 2 weeks of vacation :) More precisely, I only need to walk about 5 km 4 times per week, or 4 km 5 times per week. You get it - not terribly much.

Still, I managed to get behind pretty early on. March rained non-stop. April I was traveling for 2 weeks. So come May, a reality check meant I needed to "haul butt" or give up.

I. Do. NOT. Give. Up.

In the last two weeks I logged over 80 km to get myself back on track for my goal. And here I am. Week 15. As of this morning, over 300 km trekked at a steadily increasing pace, so that I now frequently jog more of my route than walk it. I'm on track now for getting to 1000 km!

Still, the scale has not budged since I began this regimen :( I remain well over a healthy weight. Not sure what to do next. I should add weight training, but find that very VERY hard to do on my own. I know I am getting stronger and generally feeling better. The joint pain is kept mostly in check with anti-inflammatory meds and movement. But I sure would like to fit comfortably into my summer frocks and feel confident in a swimsuit. Joining a gym would be fabulous, but out of budget. So, hard as it is, I think I need to set some goals for sit ups, squats, and hand weights. Last ditch efforts will be further limiting my dearly loved wine and cheese.

Anyone want to set some goals with me and join me in my personal fitness challenge?

At least, wish me luck :)
And enjoy some pics of the beautiful Ruhr region that I get to explore as I walk 1000 kilometers this year.
 

I start my route on beautiful wooded trails

Passing babbling brooks and peaceful ponds

And continue along the lovely Ruhr River

Weekend Mornings: Sweet Reprieve

Breakfast on the patio when the sun shines

When we lived in the US, weekends with four active athletes were often busier than the school/work week. My kids played different sports every season. Lacrosse, field hockey, soccer, swim, basketball, and cheer leading seemed to rule our weekend schedules, depending on the time of year. Usually my husband and I had to split up and work out carpooling to make sure that everyone got where they needed to be. During the summers, swim meets for all the kids started around 6am every Saturday and ran well past noon. In recent years, one daughter played with a competitive lacrosse club that required us to be out of town overnight at 2- and 3-day tournaments in June and July. Another daughter trained with the USA field hockey association in the spring and with a club in the Baltimore area during the winter, so likewise was frequently traveling out of town for long weekends of sports. Both boys played soccer in the fall and spring and all the kids played winter basketball. We were always on the run!

So one of the things I love about our new life is that weekends are free! Most weekends, we have NOTHING planned. And we've gotten into a wonderful routine of leisurely family breakfasts every Saturday and Sunday morning. My 13-year old son, who does most of the complaining about life in Germany, gets up voluntarily each weekend morning and rides his bike to the local bakery to buy the breakfast rolls (Brötchen). Sometimes, he even insists on using his own pocket money to treat the family! When he gets home, the table is set with a variety of fruit jams, cheeses, meats, and, of course, Nutella. Tea and Coffee are cooked, and we all sit down, often with candles and flowers, and enjoy loud conversation, sibling teasing, and yummy food.

One of the first times we sat down for breakfast like this, we assumed the older teenage girls wanted to sleep in, and did not wake them when the table was ready. There was hell to pay for that when they got up and found us sitting around breakfast without them. I was quickly informed that even my not-at-all-a morning-person 15-year old daughter did not want to miss out on eating with the family. Wow. On weekends she tries really hard to put her typical morning grouchiness away and to be pleasant at breakfast. It's been a wonderful treat to have this time together and to know that the kids all want to be part of it. It's a perfect way to de-stress from our challenging weeks.


The kids still play sports, and today my oldest had a lacrosse tournament in Frankfurt (2 hours away), but she didn't need to leave until 10:30 - a perfectly decent time to get moving on a Sunday. Both girls play lacrosse, one son runs track, and another plays soccer. But sports here are just not as intense as they were in the US. Instead of training five days a week (as they did in high school), they usually only train twice a week and games or races are not every week. There are, of course, athletes in Germany who train much more frequently, but that just doesn't seem to be the norm for young athletes as much as it was in the US.

After our casual breakfasts, the day is often still open for family activities, like walking, biking, and kayaking. If it's a Sunday, you can forget shopping, since the stores are all closed. So we tend to relax a lot more. We get household chores done, then go outside when the weather allows, or read books or play games inside.  It's a completely different pace of life here and one of the things I really appreciate about Germany. As the weather improves over the next few months, I'm looking forward to weekend excursions to Belgium and the Netherlands, which are both a short drive away. And I'm already scanning the local festival calendar for other great things we can do in North Rhine Westphalia during the weekends in spring and summer. After Breakfast :)

Expat Resources: Meeting New People

When you first arrive in a new country, it can be very lonely. Especially if you are the "trailing spouse" and not working outside the home. For the first few weeks, I threw myself into housework. Completely unaccustomed to not having a job and a dozen volunteer commitments, I wasn't sure how to occupy myself once I got the kids out the door for school. I walked a lot, exploring my new community by foot. I planned meals, cleaned house, and read books. Sounds like the relaxing life of luxury I dreamed of when I had a career and a thousand other things to do. But it wasn't. I was lonely and lacked any sort of adult conversation or intellectual stimulation. And I hate housework :)

I needed to find a way to meet people. Thankfully, a friend back in the States suggested I try online resources and actually sent me a link for a local "Meetup Group." I'd never heard of Meetup. And I'd only thought of online resources as a place for singles to look for dates. It never occurred to me, as a Do-It-Yourself-Expat, that I could tap into rich communities of people with similar interests or experiences in my new city. Duh.

So last November, I attended my first "Native English Speaker Quiz & Martini Night" at a great little bar in Essen-Kettwig. It was an interesting experience. I'm not fond of trivia quizzes, usually because I'm no good at them, but this one was actually quite fun and even I managed to know many of the answers. Plus, they had Martini's - which I love ;) But in terms of meeting people, the night was a bit of a let down. Most of the evening I ended up chatting with those who happened to be sitting closest to me at the bar: a couple business men who were in town during the week, but commuted home to England & Scotland on the weekends. We didn't have much in common, and while the conversation was pleasant enough, these weren't people I'd be making friends with. But during the quiz part of the evening, I teamed up with the bar owner, an American woman named Leslie who's been in Germany for at least a dozen years. She was a lot of fun, and I spent some time talking to her after the quiz. Although she's single and has no kids, she's close in age to me and we got on well. I was intrigued by her and admired how successfully she had built a good life in a new country, being perfectly at home in both languages and cultures.

When it came time for the December Quiz & Martini Night, I had mixed feelings about attending. I doubted that was a good venue for meeting people I had anything in common with aside from speaking English. And I'd never fancied myself the type of person who needed to cling to their home culture. I was more interested in meeting German friends. The only reason I went was to get out of the house and hang out again with Leslie a bit. And I'm really glad I gave it a second try!

At the next meeting, I found myself standing at a high-top with several women from the US and Britain. This turned out to be just the right crowd! The women I met that night invited me to join them for breakfast the next morning as well. Finally, I had found a wonderful group of women I had a lot in common with. Several of them, like me, were in bi-cultural marriages and had children in the German school system (although they had brought their children over at much younger ages and/or their kids were born here).  So while they all spoke English, they weren't, as I'd feared, "clinging to their home culture." Fully immersed in our host country, these women are able to speak the local language, and appreciate diverse perspectives and experiences. They understand what I'm going through and have not only been a shoulder to cry on in tough times, they've also been a well-spring of advice and referrals. And most importantly, they've made me laugh again - the most basic survival skill an expat needs!

From the original core group of  American and British women, I've met a number of others from various countries who are in similar circumstances, and now have a fantastic network of fun and interesting friends. Our families have gotten together for holidays and celebrations, with spouses and kids all getting along as well. One of my daughters gets third-language lessons from a French friend I met - a woman with four of her own multi-cultural children. And my daughters have landed babysitting jobs with kids who also speak English at home. It's been such a blessing for us all!

I've since learned of other expat and international groups and attended social events with InterNations and the Düsseldorf American Women's Club.

Last night, at an InterNations gathering in Essen, I met a really interesting woman from Spain, married to a German, with two adolescent boys, who has moved with her family through several countries. We exchanged emails and I'm looking forward to getting to know her better, as well.

I've discovered English-speaking book clubs, breakfast clubs, yoga clubs - you name it - for almost any interest or activity, there are groups meeting in and around the region, where open-minded, fun-loving people can make friends. I'm lucky to be living in a densely-populated metropolitan area, so these groups are already well-established here. If you live in a place that doesn't have international groups, then consider starting your own Meetup. And, if you try one or two events, and don't find friends, keep trying - because new people come each month and you may not have had a chance to talk to the right people the first time or two.

Here are some online resources for Expats. Please, if you have others to add, I'd love your comments!

• Meetup
• InterNations
• American Women's Club

Success as an expat depends largely on making friends and building a good support network. To all my international expat friends THANK YOU - you are the flowers in the garden of my life!

Power Playlist for Women

"I am Woman, Hear Me Roar" - this is the title of the new playlist I'm assembling for my collection of running/workout music. The criteria: songs sung by women that reflect their strength and beauty. Here are some of the titles I have so far.

• A Woman’s Worth, Alicia Keys
• Beautiful, Christina Aguilera
• Bitch, Meredith Brooks
• Fighter, Christina Aguilera
• Firework, Katy Perry
• I Am Woman, Helen Reddy
• I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor
• I'm a Woman, Reba McEntire
• Independent Women, Destiny's Child
• Irreplaceable, Beyonce
• Love Song, Sara Bareillis
• Man I Feel Like a Woman, Shania Twain
• Respect, Aretha Franklin
• Stronger, Kelly Clarkson
• Survivor, Destiny's Child
• Unwritten, Natasha Bedingfield

These tunes make me feel powerful and motivate me to work harder - at whatever I am doing.
I'd love suggestions of more female power anthems. One note, I'd like to avoid tunes that are explicitly man-hating, because, well, I sort of like men ;)

Have a great day! 

My Six-Word Memoir: Have Lipstick and Laptop, Will Travel

Have Lipstick and Laptop, Will Travel

Several years ago, Smith magazine launched  their Six-Word Memoir project and a series of subsequent books. I first heard of it on a radio broadcast early one morning the week before I was heading to Italy for a  short business trip. All through the week, I pondered the challenge: what is my story in six words? What 6-word phrase would represent important details or values in my life? Wow - a pretty tough challenge! It nagged at me all that week.

Then it dawned on me at the start of my trip. A pilot waiting with me in the terminal commented on how lightly I was packed for a woman - I only had a small carry-on with my laptop and a couple changes of clothes, and a tiny hand-held purse that fit my wallet, passport, and lipstick. This is when it came to me. I jokingly replied to the pilot that all I needed was my lipstick and laptop. And as I thought about that, I realized those two things really did sum up most everything I needed and valued - life need not be weighed down with heavy luggage. Travel light, focus on the important things, live in the moment and have a free spirit and an open mind!

Here is what the items represent to me:

Lipstick stands for all things beautiful and polished, as well as simplicity. It is the notion that we should be beautiful inside and out and pay attention to simple details in life, like the extra sparkle a touch of lip gloss can give to a woman's smile. I believe that beauty can be found in many ways and that what is most important is the beauty we find inside people - kindness, compassion, honesty. But I also believe in being healthy, physically fit, eating right and trying to present the physical gifts God gave us in the most flattering light. So yes, attention to nice clothes and a clean, polished appearance is important to me as well.

The laptop is a connection to the world, a tool for communication, a source of news and education, an essential part of a busy professional's life and highly complex. It represents "brains" to complement the beauty; form and substance to balance the aesthetic. For it is not enough to be beautiful and simple, it is important to be smart and interesting as well. Yet, the laptop is portable and lightweight - offering access to an incredible and diverse world in the palm of your hand.

So lipstick and a laptop are symbiotic for an amazing life of adventure. With the ideas represented by these two items, one can travel the world, meet new people, explore exciting places. Experience the beauty and wonder of life!

But "Will Travel" doesn't have to mean flying around the world. You can immerse yourself in a great book from the comfort of your sofa to explore new worlds - and then, ideally, discuss it with a friend! You can meet and interact with people in your community from diverse cultures. You can go to the theater to experience dance or music from far away lands. Being willing to travel is about having an adventurous spirit and an open mind - if your adventures take you down the street or across the ocean, you just need to be willing to learn and grow from them!

So grab your lipstick and your laptop and travel!

Music that Moves Me: Nickelback

The radio or my iPod plays almost around the clock at my house. I love music - and I'm especially drawn into music with lyrics that speak to me. All kinds....sappy love songs, proud country ballads, even the occasional politically-charged rap tune. So from time to time, I'll share artists and lyrics I'm listening to.

Hot on my list of favorites is Nickelback. They have so many great songs with messages I could listen to everyday. In particular I think three songs are awesome: If Everyone Cared, If Today Was Your Last Day, and one of their newest, When We Stand Together. The last isn't widely available in the US, but you can download it in Germany.

Here are some of the lines from If Everyone Cared that sum it up:

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
When nobody died...

Wouldn't it be great if everyone DID care? Loving, sharing, swallowing our pride... these remind me of the basic life lessons in Robert Fulgham's classic "Everything I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" (awesome book, I'll need to review that in another blog, in case you've never read it).

In If Today Was Your Last Day, Nickelback challenge us to examine the quality of our lives:

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

And part of the message in Nickelback's When We Stand Together is again reminiscent of Fulgham, who reminds us we should hold hands when crossing the street. Here are a few of their lines:

They tell us everything's alright
And we just go along
How can we fall asleep at night
When something's clearly wrong

When we could feed a starving world
With what we throw away
But all we serve are empty words
That always taste the same

We must stand together
There's no giving in
Hand in hand forever
That's when we all win
Hey, yeah, yeah, hey, yeah
That's when we all win

These guys are fantastic musicians who've been rolling out chart-topping albums since 1995, so unless you live in a cave, you've probably heard their music on the radio. Next time, take a listen to the lyrics and be reminded to live a little better.

Update, November 2013
I won tickets to a concert on the Hits Tour with backstage passes from the local radio! What a fantastic treat!